


Transitions

by Vziii



Category: Game Grumps, Game Gyaru - Fandom, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Audio Format: MP3, Bri Wecht - Freeform, Daniella Avidan - Freeform, F/F, Game Gyaru, Monologue, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25051657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vziii/pseuds/Vziii
Summary: An experimental fanfic using audio-monologues [transcribed] to show the progression of Bri's journey through gender, love, and self-doubt.... which is kinda me self-projecting onto a trans woman who would have more years of wisdom and experience and thus better answers about how to navigate my 'hellscapes.'My voice will sound like a weird teenager's and I'm hoping to hear a better/clearer/more masculine tone after more practice.
Relationships: Daniella Avidan & Bri Wecht
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. 20-8-2012

[ _Audio link_ ](https://soundcloud.com/user-911882234/20-8-2012-transitions-recording-1)

**Transcription**

[BG noise: airplane cabin 'white' noise heard through the walls]

Bri Wecht (slurred slightly, quite throaty and soft):

Why, yes. I _am_ recording this... in the bathroom... of the plane to... essentially, your next chapter in life.

... and let me tell you, the bathroom is _much_ more comfortable than that economy seat. Better than Delta but, settle for better next time, I guess.

I would not be recording this if it wasn't... eating at me. While I was shifting my _old_ -ass, _weak_ -ass muscles in that cramped little seat- (sharp inhale) okay.

So here are some goals that hopefully future-Bri has fully... managed, or at least gotten really close to, otherwise you've kinda fucked up.

No. 1:

Don't. Blow. This Job. Queen Mary London already took a long while to respond, and you _know_ how **hard** tenured professorships are to get. So don't get too comfortable.

Reasons why past professorships have been comforting was because you got acclimated pretty quickly. Don't get too acclimated. Don't get too comfortable. Don't. Fuck it up.

Okay? Okay.

No. 2:

**_Don't_ **even think about hurting Madhurima. [speaking quicker and more aggressively] I knew that wasn't on your agenda anyways, but **take** **good** **care** of her. Treat her like a treasure-

You disrespect your **goddamn** god-daughter one damn time, _even_ her parents, I **swear** I don't _**care** _how much _funding_ or _assistance_ I'm gonna need for this, but I will make a time machine, travel back to _your_ _sorry_ **ass** , _**shove** _a Malcolm Gladwell book **down** your throat, and not make you sleep until you've heard the last word of its audiobook version.

[long pause, voice becomes quiet and slower as if in contemplation]

... cause... even from a baby, you could tell Madhurima was... something incredibly precious. I'm not a f- ...parent. So I may never really fully experience it.

... but I think... the only thing that was... closest to falling in love with Madhurima was...

... [soft huff of realization]

No. 3:

Please don't give up on Daniella.

I don't know if she still... sticks around? Honestly I think I've hurt her... a little too much, I don't why she even considers me a friend. I don't even know if NSP will become anything more than just a silly little project where one drag king sings about dicks and their ambiguous friend plays the keyboard. I don't... want to imagine it going the other way around.

But please don't give up on the closest friend you've ever made. Don't give up on one of the... [soft inhale] silly yet surprisingly beautiful projects that's ever happened to you.

No. 4:

I don't know if you're ever going to... **publicly** come out as... 'Brian' without the 'an.' But if you do, don't... come out... all at once?

I'm not sure if that's making sense, so let me put in this perspective: as of now, I'm supposing that I will just start with testosterone suppressants, or changing my hairdo, or... I don't know, taking thirty minutes out of my mornings just to do very light makeup. If I'm ever willing to, _God_.

But be **very** careful about... how you present yourself... in a certain vulnerable light. You don't know what your superiors or your students are gonna _say_ or _do_ if they found out that way. And yes there's a gay scene in London, but... it still hasn't been given a great name. 

... be careful.

And No. 5:

Maybe channel Ninja Bri a little more.

It's not like we were ever passive or we were ever _not_ a cold shoulder. Yes, please do keep your _empathy_ and your _sympathy_. Be ethical, of course. But **don't** back down. **Don't** be weak enough where someone can just push you down without a second thought.

You are **fucking** 37, damn it. You've _**seen** _enough shit, don't be a _**victim** _of that shit. Yes, make some dumb shit here and there, I guess- everyone should have fun. Just don't... let things build up into some _stinking_ mess you have to clean later.

... so. Hopefully... future-Bri would have figured all this shit out, or at least gotten very close to it. Just... if you've taken nothing else from this, just...

Please don't let down the people you love the most... any further than you've already have.

... okay.


	2. 2-9-2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two people are getting anxious about the start of school. Both have every reason to.
> 
> ... one is 30 years older than the other.
> 
> Note: there will be some glitch sounds (that I couldn't get rid of) and some plastic clanking. It also may be particularly louder, as I turned up the volume, so please be mindful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping the bathroom reverb acoustics work out, because I found it easier to record it on my phone and not artificially make the reverb on Audacity.

[ Audio link ](https://soundcloud.com/user-911882234/2-9-2012-transitions-recording-2)

**Transcription**

[BG noise: slight reverb from bathroom walls]

Bri Wecht (clear diction, slightly soft due to distance from mic)

Well, congratulations Bri. You've worked towards Goal 2. Madhurima seems more cheerful about school now. Though I'm unsure if taking care of her means 'keep her smiling and keep painful truths as secrets.' Or maybe it was just waiting for the appropriate time to tell her that... people will go out of their way to make things harder for her.

... but hey, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't try to focus on the positive.

Rajesh just keeps getting better at cooking, good for him. His vegetable curry was quite fragrant, even to Anand's standards. Kind of him to leave out the chillis for me and Madhurima. Anand came through tonight as well, with her soy-sauce fish. Said she learned the recipe from a colleague. Dinner menu went well, so that helped Madhurima's anxiety for tomorrow.

... well, half-anxiety, half-excitement. As it would be for anyone starting elementa- 'inhale' (in mocking Queen's) _primary_ school.

Modest school, as modest as a private school can be. And it's gonna be a little worrisome when people eventually start teasing her. Sadder when people see her dad pick her up in his old, sweaty blue-striped button-up, sadder when Mom can't come home for dinner most days, due to her longer weekday shifts. 

So we all tried to cheer her up and make her more excited for the fun stuff like... learning interesting things, and going to a library as often as she wants. I know she'll have fun there, if not in class. Plus, she can make more friends. Good friends, hopefully. Maybe she'll mix with fellow (British?) Indians, um- maybe with some other races too. 

Immature to say this, but I was worried about letting her see my _own_ anxiety about school. I'm supposed to be the adult between us, after all.

Plus, tonight wasn't the right time to tell her that _some_ teachers get worried about their new job. Especially if they don't know much of their colleagues and clients- fellow teachers and classmates, to her. And _some_ teachers have to do all that while adapting to a new town, maybe a new country. And sometimes, they're scared that they appear _weak_ in the middle of it all because- that would mean all the pressure _did_ get to them. Which it's not supposed to.

But of course, teachers need to manage all that on their own time. Not tell that to their goddaughter. Or their friend who's being burned out by his law firm. Or the half-time Mom, half-time head nurse, which is just a fancier title for someone who should be promoted but is given the biggest load in a lower position.

... [regretful sigh] God, why am I even saying all this? 

[long flush sound, then the clatter of toilet bowl seat]

You better have calmed down after a good night's sleep. You're already on the edge, and God knows you're not a morning person. And you did promise that you'd smile tomorrow, too, if Madhurima will.

[soft ruffle of clothing] 

She really is a ray of sunshine. Rajesh and Anand raised a good kid. Maybe not the best choice to have me around as an influence, though. She doesn't need my irritability. Wouldn't be surprised if _she_ ends up being the one who cheers me up.

... [worried breath] I think she's been cheering all three of us up. Shouldn't be her job, but...

[sullen sigh] ... just hope I can help them out, too. They've done that for me. Would be unfair if I didn't repay them.

It's the same for Dani. [soft pop and clanking of plastic] She's still wishing me luck. That dear, I don't know how she puts up with me. Plus she's settling into her LA apartment now, so I thought she would talk more about that during our Skype call. But no. She keeps asking _me_ to keep going about how _I_ feel about starting work soon.

[soft rush of tap water, quickly being stopped]

Also, remember to get to the scratch track when you come home tomorrow. [tap runs again] At least figure out the chords to the verses. Cause I was gonna do that tonight, but _fuck_ these intestines. Taking up half an hour and barely any outcomes.

[tap turns off again]

Alright, that's probably enough. 10 minutes left before bedtime. And I'd really prefer to have my teeth clean _and_ get enough sleep for tomorrow. (starts brushing, voice muffled) So Captain's Log ends here, I guess.


End file.
